Kioku
by Hayate.Hikari
Summary: Orihara Izaya, the man who claimed "to love the entire human races, which of course excluding Shizu-chan" had a deep secret in his heart. That is… - DURARARA! Fanfic Heiwajima Shizuo X Orihara Izaya
1. Kioku

**Kioku – DURARARA! Heiwajima Shizuo X Orihara Izaya fanfic**

_**Disclaimer:** After reading how Izaya was hurt in many ways physically and emotionally in most fanfics, I feel that I want to give this man a happy ending; an ending that he desires so much. Thus this story is made._

* * *

Orihara Izaya, the man who claimed "to love the entire human races, which of course excluding Shizu-chan" had a deep secret in his heart.

That is…

**-.-.-.-.-**

Since young, he had always been a good student. Getting full marks for tests, doesn't give everyone troubles. Every single day he was being praised for everything he had done.

He is glad to be needed, to be relied on, and to be loved by many.

That is the proof that he is there, in this "world".

It is okay that no one actually understand him, or rather he is glad about that fact, so he is able to manipulate them with his words, and of course his actions too.

"_That's their fate." _

He loves all human beings in this world, even if he was harmed by his "beloved humans".

**-.-.-.-.-**

"… Geh."

Who could have thought that he will be landed in this state? Being bit up in a bad state and shot at the thigh and the waist area.

Heh… So this is what I gotten, but I will still love you guys because I love all humans in this world. Shizu-chan of course, is an exception.

Izaya thought, as he just lied on the floor lifelessly.

Shizu-chan… Even if I'm on the verge of dying, I can't help but to think of him… How foolish am I? Yet, I still want to see him, the last person I want to meet before I die, is him.

With that thought that gives him energy to move on, he stood up, dragging that weighty body of his toward Heiwajima Shizuo's house.

-.-.-.-.-

What if someone says that actually Orihara Izaya is in love with Heiwajima Shizuo? Most people will think that it's definitely some joke or lie, and laugh it off.

But, only Orihara Izaya knew the truth.

He had been in love with that man for 7 years and the love for him only grew more and more as every second passes by. He got no intention of letting that man know his feeling, as he know that he has no chance, so he decide to hurt him, frame him for the things he never done before, and irritates him with his words.

All is to make him hates him to the core, so that man will remember him forever.

**-.-.-.-.-**

"IIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Hearing the familiar yell of the man, Orihara Izaya stopped and turned behind.

It was the man whom he had wanting to meet.

_Crap, my sight…_

Orihara Izaya wanted to give that man his usual mock but the current him is too tired to.

"S-Sh… Shizu… chan…!"

He called out for that man, and at the same time he coughed out blood. Noticing how different Orihara Izaya is, Heiwajima Shizuo walked up to him quickly and caught him before he loses conscious.

"Hey, Izaya, what happened to you?! Answer me, Izaya!"

**-.-.-.-.-**

That smell, is that flea. That guy is here in Ikebukuro again.

Heiwajima Shizuo thought, as he follows the scent of that "flea". As he getting closer, he notices that scent of that "flea" is mixed with strong scent of metallic smell… just like blood. Sensing something might be wrong, he quicken his path, and found him, getting all his strength to get to his destination.

"IIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

He yelled, and the raven in front of him turned.

"S-Sh… Shizu… chan…!"

The raven called out for him with such weak voice, and coughed out blood.

This is the first time he had seen Orihara Izaya in such bad shape. He always has that mocking smile on his face, yet this time, he seems so weak and full of blood.

He just realized, the Orihara Izaya he knew, is just a normal human just like him.

"Hey, Izaya, what happened to you?! Answer me, Izaya!"

Noticing how that raven began to lose his balance, Heiwajima Shizuo dashed to him and caught him before he would fall from the ground.

'Damn!'

-.-.-.-.-

Even though Orihara Izaya claims that he hated Heiwajima Shizuo the most, he can't help but to think of that man whenever he is alone. Thinking all the moments when they first met, and how they started all the fights and many more memories that he kept in his heart for all these years.

_It hurts. It hurts so much. I want to tell you, so much.  
Ah- I can't stand it anymore, why is it hurting me so much.  
I want to meet you, so much that my heart hurts._

The song is just like how Orihara Izaya feeling, the urge of wanting to meet him, wants to tell him everything, but he can't. That man hated him to the core; whatever he said cannot be believed.

He must keep this secret with him forever. He can't tell anyone about this feeling.

He is in pain. He's hurt. The only cure is that man. Yet he doesn't deserve it.

So he began to get himself in a dangerous state and also provoke the man that he love so all pains that he received will cover the pain in his heart.

**-.-.-.-.-**

"**SHINRA!** **OPEN THE DOOR! SHINRA!**"

Heiwajima Shizuo yelled, as he had a bad feeling about Izaya. He feel hard to breathe when the "flea"'s breath is getting shallow.

_You are not allowed to die unless I'm the one who ends your life, so hang in there!_

"Why are you here at this timing, Shizuo…?"

The door opened, and revealed a man who had glasses and white coat on him. He frown his brows when he saw the raven is covered with blood.

"Quick, bring him to the operation room!"

He dashed to the operation room with Kishitani Shinra followed behind, and was being chased out soon he put Izaya on the bed.

[ Here, have a drink, Shizuo. Mind telling me what happened to Izaya? ]

Celty typed in her PDA as she passed a cup of warm coffee to the man who sits beside her.

"I have no idea. I followed his scent and he is already in that state when I saw him."

He replied, with hints of worried his voice.

[ Don't worry so much, he will be fine. ]

"Yeah…"

Heiwajima Shizuo replied absently, as his mind is in a mess. He had no idea why is he panicking when he saw Izaya's bad state. He should hate him but the fear of losing him strikes him more.

Maybe… He doesn't hate him as much as thought he is.

**-.-.-.-.-**

To say the truth, the real person who really understand Orihara Izaya, is not that guy himself. Heiwajima Shizuo is the one who truly understand him. He can see through that mask that Orihara Izaya is wearing whenever he faces anyone.

Orihara Izaya is lonely. He wants to be love. He wants to be loved.

He is just a human being who wants to be needed, want to be loved, want to be "just there"; hoping that small voice in his heart will be heard by others.

Yet that means that he is showing his weak side. He doesn't want that, or at least his pride doesn't allow him to do so.

Thus, he started to hurt others, and himself; putting that mockery smile toward everyone. So that no one will notice the crying child in him…

… Till "someone" willing to break the hard wall that he had built and notice the "real" him.

**-.-.-.-.-**

White is the first colour he sees.

Where am I? How long have I been unconscious?

The raven thought as he slowly sits up.

So I'm still alive.

"Oh, you're awake, Izaya!"

The door opened, and revealed Kishitani Shinra, his friend since middle high.

"… Shinra."

"How many fingers do I have right now?"

Shinra raised his hand in front of him.

"Five."

"Alright, it seems that your eye sight and brainwaves are working as per normal. Congratulation in surviving 2 gun shots and extreme blood loss, Izaya! You should thank Shizuo for bringing you here, ya' know. "

…. Shizuo…. So he is the one who saved me.

"… Heheh…. Haha… Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahah ahahahahahahahahaahha!"

The raven laughed, laughed so hard that his body is hurting from the unrecovered injuries. Why, why does he want to save me? Despite all the things I had done to him…. Why…

"Damnit… Why…"

"Why, you asked? Everything had their reason for things to happen, why not you ask him yourself?"

"…"

"Oh, Shizuo says that he found you through your scent, but I don't think it is coincidence or some kind of trick."

"… Is he a reincarnation of a dog?"

"Hahahaha, what are you talking about? He is a human being, like you too, Izaya."

"…"

"Since you're awake, I shall call Shizuo to come in."

No, don't. I don't know how to face him right now…!

The door opened again, it's Heiwajima Shizuo.

There is an awkward silence between that man and that raven, till that man asked.

"… How are you feeling right now?"

The raven looks up to that man, giving him his usual mockery smile.

"How do you think?"

"…"

"…

"… Say, why do you save me?"

"Why, you ask? I have no idea why too. I just feel that I can't leave you behind. The fear of you dying in my arms scares me. I can't forgive myself if I allow you to bleed to death."

Heiwajima Shizuo sits beside him as he says, and looking at Orihara Izaya's expression. He can hear bits of the wall surrounding his heart slowly cracking and slowly fall.

"You're a human being; you are the same as me, Izaya. So you have the rights to be needed by someone, to be loved by someone and to love someone. Stop casting people away."

"… W-What are you saying…"

The raven stuttered. He hates this feeling. He hated to be seen thoroughly, especially by this man. He doesn't want his gentle and kindness, he doesn't deserve these.

Heiwajima Shizuo noticing that Orihara Izaya is trying to hide his true self again, he grabbed one of his hands and pulls him into his embrace.

"Stop denying everything away from you, Izaya. Let's stop fighting and get ourselves hurt. I may not hate you but I have yet knowing what is this feeling I had right now. I will give you an actual answer when I finally know it, but meanwhile, please let me stay by your side. You had been lonely for so long, it's time to allow yourself to rely on me. I will not restrain you in any ways, and you can leave whenever you want. But for now, please rely on me."

Upon hearing those words, the raven's eyes swell up with tears, and allows himself to show his weakness to this man he had loved for 7 years and more.

In this moment, he is not alone anymore. Even if the whole world abandoned him, he still has him. That man had heard the crying child in him.

Thank you. And I love you.

.

..

…

The end.

* * *

Hope you guys love this, it may seems that it is not as sweet, but to Izaya, this is already enough for him. If Shizuo treated too well, he will think everything is just a dream, and his guilt will only grow much more, which in resulting he will escape from Shizuo more. Knowing Izaya well, he just stayed by his side. He will wait too, till Izaya finally overcome and accept him fully.

Okay this is the end of it, but I will start to write fluffy omakes to make up for this! May not able to update as much as I can but I will try my best, so please look forward for it!

- Hayate 14/11/2012 00:06 AM


	2. Always be with you

**Always be with you – DURARARA! Heiwajima Shizuo X Orihara Izaya**

Finally finished this fluff after dragging so long. Hope you guys like it! The theme song for this fic is Shinpakusuu #0822 ! It's a very touching song so you guys can go and listen. o wo

* * *

_My heart, you know, when it stops__  
__I think then I would have had enough of this world_

Few years passed by since that day.

The Orihara Izaya that he used to know changed.

He had learnt to accept that weak self, learnt how to stop facing others with that mask of his. He stopped inflicting pains to himself and others.

It was that man, who changed him.

_I wouldn't have any things left undone__  
__I just want to keep smiling here beside you_

In the start, that raven will still push him way, hurting him physically and emotionally, but he know that the pain that inflict on him hurts more than anyone.

He will pull that raven into his embrace, just quietly hugging him that way. He will struggle, he will scream, but he doesn't care.

All Shizuo can see is that he is crying inside.

"Let go of me!"

"…"

"Goddamnit!"

Shizuo still doesn't budge.

"… Asshole…"

The raven sobbed, as he just hugged him tightly.

No matter what happens, I will still be with you.

_While this chest is pounding, I want to protect you__  
__I'm fine with that as the only meaning of my existence__  
__Once more, once more, I count the same tears,__  
__And once again, we understood each other._

Izaya still remember the day that Vorona came up to his house.

"Izaya-san, please stop pestering Shizuo-senpai."

Despite that he doesn't want to see her, but due to basic manner, he invited her in and treats her with a cup of cocoa.

"…"

He looked up, and smirked.

"What if I decline?"

"…" Vorona bit her bottom lips, "I will make you leave him. You does not deserve his love, you lowly creature."

The raven shudders for a second, as he breaks out into laughter.

"I wonder how you are going to make him do that, since he doesn't _**love**_ you."

Upon hearing that, Vorona snapped.

She threw the cup that she has been holding at Izaya as he just sat there, not moving an inch.

Just when the cup is near Izaya, a hand came across and hit on it instead of Izaya.

Izaya's eyes widen as he note that it was his lover whom took the blow for him.

_My throbbing pulse conveys  
The overlapping sounds and the streaming emotions  
Let's promise not to part anymore  
So that you will never be lonely._

"…S-Shizuo-Senpai- This-…"

Vorona stuttered.

"… Please leave, Vorona."

"Bu-But…"

"Don't make me repeat."

He said, as his back is facing Vorona, barged off the room and the building. Izaya can imagine that the blonde ran away, crying. She is just like him, but only that Izaya gotten the Happy End while Vorona received the Bad End.

"Are you an idiot!?"

Shizuo shouted at the raven that seems to be spacing out.

"Wha-"

"Don't you know to dodge it away?! If it's not for me, you would have been injured!"

"…."

Izaya just kept quiet as he looked at his lover's hand which is bleeding now, feeling remorseful about it.

"… Sigh."

He let out a slight sigh, and pulls Izaya into his embrace.

"Do you still remember what I told you? You have the right to be needed; I gave you the permission to love me and to be loved by me. Except for me, who do you think you are able to be with?"

It may sound boastful but his words regained Izaya's confident. He has the right to stay by this man he love, no matter what others think. As long as this man is with him, he have nothing to fear for.

"Hey Izaya."

The blonde called out, as Izaya popped his head out from his embrace. He took out a small box, and took out a platinum ring.

"With this, you are not able to get away from me anymore."

Shizuo said, as he put the ring in Izaya's ring finger.

_The ring on left ring finger, that eternal promise, till death do us apart_.

The end.


End file.
